097:  Safety First
by Bitch Slap Love
Summary: After getting pranked by Clyde and those guys, Kyle is left stranded in the cold street sopping wet and with only his ushanka, boxers and shoes. . . . Style? Crack?


Disclaimer: Do not own them.

Title: Number Ninety-Seven: Safety First

Summary: After getting pranked by Clyde and those guys, Kyle is left stranded in the cold street sopping wet and with only his ushanka, boxers and shoes. . . . Style? Crack?

Warnings: Yaoi Cussing PWP (Kinda)OOC

Couple: StanKyle?

Written By: Shino

Inspired By: The urge to write a story where Kyle finds an un-used condom in Stan's pockets and then them putting it to good use?

Comments: I don't even know if they WILL put it to good use though.

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Number Ninety-Seven: Safety First

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Kyle stared blankly after the truck swerving away. "LOSER!" He flinched. Ah, the name calling.

Biting his lip, Kyle looked around and spotted a familiar house. "Oh thank God." He muttered and ran for it, ignoring that fact that it felt like his balls were going to freeze.

Upon reaching the door he stopped a moment to catch his breath before knocking.

The door opened to reveal Sharon Marsh. "Kyle?"

"Hello, Mrs. Marsh! Is Stan home?" He spoke pleasantly, hands behind his back and ignoring the fact that his hair was dripping water onto his bare back.

She gave him a once over. "What happened?"

Kyle chuckled, "Oh, I was pranked by my friends now may I come in? It's cold out."

Moving out of the way, Kyle skittered by her and into the warm room. "Thank you. Stan upstairs?"

Nodding, Sharon muttered under her breath as the red-head raced up the stairs. "Teenagers."

Kyle knocked less patiently on Stan's bedroom door. When a weak 'Its open' sounded, he threw the door open and dived into Stan's bed, curling up into a shivering ball under the comforter.

Stan blinked and turned to his bed. "Kyle?" He thought he had seen a red blur go by, but he wasn't sure.

"Hmmmm?" Kyle poked his head out of the covers and looked at the brunette.

"Why are you here?" Stan paused. "In my bed?"

Kyle curled up even more before replying. "Clyde and those guys pranked me and so now I'm cold and wet."

"Oh," Stan turned, and was about to go back to his homework when something clicked. 'Wait, your wet and in my bed?"

"Yeah." Kyle replied.

Stan stood and closed his door before saying calmly. "Get out of my bed. I don't want it to get wet." Then he proceeded to yank the blue comforter off of Kyle.

Making a noise as his warmth was yanked away; he got out of the bed and pouted slightly. "Now I'm colder."

Stan sighed and walked over to his closet. "Here, I'll give you some clothes. Strip and tell me how this all went down and why you were so easily duped."

"Hey!" Kyle started, kicking off his shoes and peeling off his socks. "Kenny had called me and told me to meet him a Tweek's! I didn't know my own friend was setting me up." His hands went back to his hips and he watched Stan rifle through his clothes. "I went to Tweek's, thinking Kenny was there but Craig was there with Token and they said that Tweek and Kenny had gone ahead to some Café 'er something and that they'd give me a ride."

Glancing over his shoulder, Stan gave Kyle a dubious look. "And you trusted them?" He turned back and pulled out a pair of blue jeans. "I don't have any clean pants, but I wore these last night, that cool?"

"Yeah, it's fine." Kyle rocked back and forth a bit before continuing. "So I got in their truck thinking how nice they were being when someone grabbed me."

"Really? How did you not see the person when you got in?" Now looking through his shirts, Stan found one that didn't belong to him. He chuckled and pulled it from his hanger. "I'm guessing you need some boxers too?" Passing a towel on the floor he picks it up.

"I was busy thanking them, not looking to see if someone was waiting to grab me!" Kyle crossed his arms, a light blush crossing his cheeks at the though of his own stupidity. "Oh, uh, yeah, I do. So, anyways, the person grabs me and then Craig, who's sitting in the front passenger seat, turns around to help to other guy who I now see is Clyde."

Grabbing a pair of light blue boxers, Stan handed the towel to Kyle. "What, exactly, happened for your clothes to be missing though?"

"I'm getting to it. Hang on." Taking the towel, Kyle quickly dried his body, then, he dropped the towel and started talking again. "So both of them are grabbing me and pulling at my clothes laughing and I'm thinking. 'Oh, dear God, I'm ganna get raped!'" Raising a finger to symbolize 'one second', Kyle reached down and pushed his boxers off. Then, grabbing the dry ones, he pulled them on.

Stan burst out laughing at this point and almost dropped the clothes he was holding. "Seriously, dude?"

Kyle couldn't help the chuckle the came after Stan's laughter. "Yeah, man. Wait, wait there's more." He grabbed the pants and pulled them on. "So both of them are grabbing me and I'm struggling, but not much, they seemed to have planned this all out because Clyde is holding my feet while Craig is harassing me and visa versa." Kyle pauses and looks down at the pants he has on. "I'm a really so scrawny your pants don't fit me?"

Stan reached a hand out and tugged at the fabric, just to see at least a good inch of space. "Yeah, I guess so. Here," He held out the shirt. "This isn't mine, I think it's my sisters, but, you get to wear it."

"Oh, thanks." Kyle muttered taking the shirt and studying it. "'Pop Princess'?" Looking up Kyle gave Stan a look. "Sounds more like your thing to me." Dodging a mock punch, Kyle pulled on the light pink fabric. "It shows my belly." He poked aforementioned part.

"You look stunning." Stan said in a fake complimenting tone. "Now, finish your story."

Nodding, Kyle dived back under the covers, avoiding the wet spot and curled back up in the warmth. "So, they somehow get my shirt above my head, and then they get my pants off, without taking off my shoes, which," Kyle stretched his neck, trying to see his shoes. "I don't see how it was possible cause I was wearing girl pants." Kyle shifted his gaze to Stan. "Say nothing." Kyle paused, to make sure he wasn't going to be had fun of, before continuing. "Then, they pulled a couple of buckets through the back window and poured ice water on me." Kyle sighed, head ducking back under the covers. "Then they stopped, and pushed me from the car. The end."

Stan nodded while the other finished his story and tried not to laugh. He picked up all the wet clothes and dropped them in his hamper. "Sounds like fun. Give me your hat."

Begrudgingly, Kyle handed over his favorite, but wet, hat. "Yep, a blast." He shifted his position a bit, and tried to ignore the other.

When Stan turned back to the bed he quirked a brow. "What, the fuck, are you doing?" All he could see was slight movements from under the cover.

Kyle looked up. "It felt like my balls were frozen earlier, I'm making sure they aren't."

"Dude," Stan started, hands waving a bit in the air. "That's my bed."

"Oh, Jesus Christ." Kyle said rolling his eyes. "I'm not jerking off, chill."

Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Stan reiterated. "That. Is. My. BED."

"Calm dowh-" Kyle cut off with a moan, his head going back and eyes closing.

Stan's arms motioned wildly in front of himself. "DUDE!"

Kyle cracked open one eye and grinned. "I'm just kidding."

"Not funny." Stan half-glared and sat down on the bed, flopping back.

Kyle sighed and went to roaming Stan's jeans pockets, then, he found something. "Hey, dude." Kyle started, looking at the little square packet in his hand. "You been getting busy?"

Stan looked over. "Huh, oh, no, I went on a date last night, but, obviously, I didn't get to use it."

"Ouch." Kyle switched his gaze to his friend. "Well, there are better ways to use these, anyways."

Rolling onto his side so he faced Kyle, Stan raised an eyebrow. "What, may I ask, would that be?"

Kyle smiled and started messing with the side of the foil. "Balloons."

Stan snorted once before laughter over-took him.

Trying to pout, Kyle twisted so he was on his stomach. "I'm being completely serious."

"Yeah, sure," Stan managed between laughs. After settling down, he grinned widely. "Sorry, but I'm going to _foil_ your plans, I'd rather use it in a _use_ful way." Reaching out, Stan pulled the packet away and dropped it onto his bedside table.

Kyle curled back up, "Party pooper."

Stan rolled his eyes and relaxed, "Cause you were having a wild party."

After a moment Kyle added softly; "In my pants."

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D:

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